huh!!~ ni cerita semalam......................~~ i got a sms.. memula, x tau sape.. "askum. awak ada kat umah tak? sy nak talk ngan awak lil bit.. tolong reply mesej ni!! saya harap awk tau sape saya" koz bersaya2.. aku ingatkan yoda.. da unkown person yg dok kacau aku~ well, aku silap.. bukan yoda pun/ rupe2nye.. syed. yeah~ dat person yg aku mmg anti. hahahah jahat aku ni aku mencebik seketika. tringat apa yg dia tulis kt dlm buku aoutograph aku. " hp number : carik sendirik la yek! " sekali dia yg memberi~ so phetatic.~ he said he wanna talk summin to me, so i replied laa... dunno wats in to him, he apolagize to me for what he did at skool~
heh. lame reason.. aku.. tatau nape.. mmg kurang senang ngan dia y suddenly dia cite semua ni?? he didnt make me feel any better. but menambahkan lagi kejelikan aku.. klu nak ikutkan.. xde ape sgtlaa yg dia buat tu.~ but dunnolah, my instinct says dat i should not make friends wiz im.. hiii again.. my instinct.. typical huh? eniwey~ i think i was bein kind a harsh to him~ aku sindir dia. sindir yg tajam lepaih tu.. he didnt reply my mesej at all~ maybe he knew dat it had been a misatke for messaging me like dat. heh.. just let it be.. aku maleh nak kata ape2.~ tp, lastly, i worte an email to him~ yalaa. aku rasa aku dah terlebey cakap kat dia aku nih,, mulut buleh tahan gak bile aku dah meluat sgt2 tu... keluar gak laa yg tak best tak best tuh..... hehehe in da mail.. aku cume kata, aku maafkan dia and aku pun mintak maaf sama kat dia.. well, sdgkan allah buleh maafkan hamba2 Nya.. inikan pula hamba sesama hamba... i ll stick to dat lgpun, x silap aku.. dulu dia ada gak mintak maaf kat aku tp.. aku tgk, no perubahan langsung. hy pd mulut, hy pd nama... apa2lah.. biarkalah dia bahgia dlm hidup dia.. eee... dat person haa... just want to lenyek2 him~ serve im right~!! ArKs.. klu dia baca ni, aku tatau la.. hehe tp rasanye,, xde ramai pun yang akan baca journal ni.... okeylaa.. i caant sit put lama2 koz sat sat my mom panggil.. sat2 itu.. sat2 ini.. :P lgpun, ada tetamu pulak hari ni... k, better go..~
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Archive for Dec 4, 2004
posted by ~ n.u.u.r ~
posted by ~ n.u.u.r ~
Isk… kenapa aku nih takut sgt nak voice out what I want>?????
Kenapa haa.. Am I afraid of ~~~ Am I afraid wiz rejection? Am I afraid of what people think? Or.. am I afraid wiz my own desires? Aku……..~ Xtaulah nak kata.. dah lama I wanted it.. Cume aku x gitau jer. Klu aku bagitau.. x semestinye diorang nak bagi. Adekee senang2 je nak bagi kan? Whatlah aku ni… Tp… aku tak tahu lg kan kutla diorang nak bagi pulak? Hehehehe~ , its worth a try God.. now im talking about tryin Dat is one of your prinsip rite??? “Everythin worth a try” But, kenapa kali ni aku cukup chicken out utk gitau yg aku nak? Bukannye susah sgt kan? Just tell.. “ I want dat thing, plz..?” xde dosa ape pun. Ur not killin anyone, rite?? Mmgla x killin, but diz thing is so precious. Even money couldn’t buy this Aku dah cube pujuk diri aku.. X payah la ijjlal.. x payah… its not yours….. Ur acting like a fool,..? But.. makin lama aku pujuk aku tak mau.. Maaaakin aku nak.. aiyaa… problem la aku nih kan?? Ketegaq sungguh…..!!!!!!! hik hik hik Apa bendenye? Heh, x perlu la aku tulis kat sini Aku rasa.. bg org lain.. xdelaa preicious sgt.. tp, bg aku.. mmg sgt222 bharga.. It’s a secret.. Just between me and Allah~ Apa yg pasti, aku mmg takutlah.. Ya Allah, plz help me…… plz……….. What should I Do.? Just diamkan diri like I always do>? And let things go by……………? And hoping dat deres always a better thing for me in da future? I know.. itulaa yg jd motivasi aku slama ni “There ll always be a better tomorrow.” Harapan yg aku sendri buat Harapan yg aku sendiri cipta Yaa.. dat hope had made me a much more patience person And lebih matang~ x cepat merajuk cam masa aku kecik2 dulu .. ‘Baby jilal’ laa katakan.. :D Ttp, kkdg aku rasa, aku rasa,,, aku hilang dalam harapan tu Aku sesat Dan.. yelah.. aku ni manusia…….~ impikan harapan mjdi kenyataan.. Hmm.. apakan daya.. ni bukan alam fantasi… diz is da real world..! Harapan akan ttp jd harapan. Harapan akan kekal harapan… Harapan menjadi reality? Satu keajaiban! Hmm sudahlah dgn kehampaan aku ni.. x rock lah kan!! ill make my self feel better.. Aku akan temui keajaiban itu! Ya.. satu hari nanti.. aku akan dapat apa yg aku mahu tu~ I guess I ll never hav da guts to ask kat diorang.. I ll just… just.. let it be (well.. theres no other option la..) And I ll still believe dat theres a better tomorrow for me. Org Kata… dunia ni ada 1001 kejaiaban.. Manalaa tau tersangkut satu keajaiban tu kat aku… Kan kan kan??!!!!!! And on dat day.. ill be the happiest person in the universe~ YeA YEAH!!! Hahah.. eniwey, wiz Allah’s will.. nothing aint impossible. Ill stick to dat belief~~.. forever!! |