seeing isnt believeing


posted by ~ n.u.u.r ~

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Seeing isn’t believing
Reading isn’t believing
Hearing isn’t believing
A truthful confession is also not reassuring
The only thing that’s true
Is Gods promise, Gods love, Gods Hope..
As long as they are called humans..
There’s always a chance to be cheated.
By untrustworthy humans.
Who claimed to be trustworthy
Dats what I learnt.
After about 16 years of living..
The fear just keep on growing
From day to day.
Leaving cancer inside my heart
The pain I felt,
The lost I felt,
Is no one have the right to know
A secret I’ve kept locked away
Wounds so deep they never show, they never go away.
No one can ever see
Because.. none is true to me nowadays
Yeah.. life is full of faces
Full of fools
And. It hurts
Why should they make promises
For in the end.. they’ll just blew it away?
I tried to accept the fact
Just how much cruelty is going on
In a very invisible way
Slowly ~ steadily ~ and poisons every single thing
Even the heart of an innocent gurl
Me.
Heh, maybe he’ll laugh
Maybe she’ll laugh
Maybe they’ll laugh
Just let it be.
Because they are just the same
Giving hope, giving promises, giving light
And holding tight
And all for that is for what?
To gain my trust, to gain my belief, to gain my strength, to gain my soul
But what did they do with all?
destroy it!
I am not a doll
nor a favorite toy
Whom they can hug and play..
Love and cherish~
But thrown away
As a new toy comes in
never objects nor cry
I am a living being
With feelings
and normal desires
the feeling of secure and dependable
are yet not available……

It’s a global issue.
For when it will end..
….no one knows…….

Sometimes I feel like trusted you so well
Sometimes I just feel like screaming at my self
Sometimes I’m in disbelief I didn’t know
Somehow I need to be alone
Sometimes I need to remember just to breathe
Sometimes I need everyone to stay away from me
Sometimes I’m in disbelief I didn’t know
Somehow I need you to go.

Inside of me. I was confused
Just stuck hollow and alone
I want to feel what I thaught was never real.
I want to let go of the pain I’ve held so long
I want to find something I’ve wanted all along
Looking everywhere I only find that its not the way I had imagined

Idunt want to be ignored
I can pretend this is the way it will stay.
I’m just trying to bend the truth
I don’t know who to trust
Everyone.. everyone feels so far away from me
So far from me.
Far from me …………………………………………………………………………